Memo..

Assalamualaikum..

dpt drp email.. saje je nak share dgn kengkawan


To all Employees:
Effective January 2007


Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.


Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holiday Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

dapat ni drp Kelas English email group :)

Comments

Sastri said…
keskeskes... kejam betul company tu...
Lan Rambai said…
Aku harap bila ko dah masuk kerja gomen, ko teruskanlah disiplin yg sama ehh hahaha
Kaklong Syikin said…
salam,

la..ayu daftar jd ahli grup b.inggeris cikgu yusuf tu ke? kalau betul..sekelaslah kita..hehe.
Cik Tat said…
toilet use..
kalo kena CB mcm mana..?
Anonymous said…
jd ahli grup b.inggeris cikgu yusuf??
apa ni ek kak ayu? nak join gak...huhu
NBK466 said…
Manggai...zalimnya punya company policy...sapa bossnya? Hitler kot...hu..hu...hu..
Ayu Mohamad said…
Sas : hahahaha mmg kejam

Lan : hahaha idak le aku nak ikut mcm dlm memo tuh hahahahaha... tapi yg pasti.. aku mmg ade berazam ler nak jadi pekerja yg cemerlang.. aku juga berjanji tak nak tunggu depan mesin punch card atau pun apa2 yg sewaktu dengannya hehehehe

kak Syikin : laaaa sy mmg tau akak pon sekelas dgn saya hehehe saya siap beli buku lagi untuk adik ipo sy hehehehe
Ayu Mohamad said…
Jem : hehehe kalo kene CB tuh nasib le.. gambo selalu le kene rakam nanti hahahahaha

Dayah : hehehe nak join ker? email kat cikgutuition@yahoo.com

NBK : ye la tuh kot abg senior.. sah sah le Hitler tuh hahaha
Dapat gak tapi tak bukak lagi email tu...hehehe
Alinlai said…
company kat mana le gamaknya :)
AyunasiA said…
Kak Ayu, saya baca pasal interview SPA akak and tahniah. Saya ambil point2 dalam interview akak for interview jawatan PLV on 6 Ogos and saya juga berjaya seperti akak. Thanks a lot atas bantuan tak langsung tuh ok.
tumismenumis said…
Ayu, apa company nih. Sesuai pulak rasanya kalau aku pakai undang undang ni kat opis aku.

Kunci tandas pun kena duplicate sorang satu, per hal.
Kiah Kardashian said…
maknanya klau camni datang opis pakai cawat ajerla...hehehe...barula dapat naik gaji!!!
RaFFLeSiA MeRaH said…
pakai cawat?? kelakornyer...tu bukan zaman millenium, tu dah balik ke zaman batu...muehehehe...sah2 kes rogol dah kureng ekk...
Ayu Mohamad said…
BP : takpa hahah ni dah baca kat sini dah kan hehehe

Alin : hahahaha aku pon takleh nak imagine

Norasiah : alhamdulillah.. tak sangka pulak kite sama2 berjaya alhamdulillah :)
Ayu Mohamad said…
mazudi : hahahaha ko leh la apply utk opis ko heheheehehe nanti tgk ler apa kemajuan yg terhasil hahaha

Zakiah : ni haa item no 2 dlm memo tuh "2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise."
meaning... no pay raise yer cik adik hahahahaha

RM : kalo cawat tu cawat besi pastu letak mangga hahahaha bleh le kurangkan :P

Popular Posts